PAST.
We each have a unique past that has transformed both our present and future selfs. One must understand their past to hopefully create a better future. Welcome to my past.
Falling Stars.
I wish I could hold you.
hold you in my arms.
When you are crying so hard,
on that cold floor.
Wishing you could find a
way out.
I wish I could have told you
to run.
To not fall in love.
I wish I could have saved you,
from all the hate.
I wish I could tell you,
one day this would all end.
but I couldn’t.
I never understood
until now.
but sometimes the greatest lessons,
are the ones
we didn't wish for.
Prayers.
I prayed for a sign,
to leave, to get out.
It's funny, looking back.
I now see how clear it was.
That there would never
be a sign.
There was never going to be
bruises
or cuts
or wounds.
You don’t truly see the abuse,
until you no longer
fear the resentment.
I was praying to survive.
yet you did answer,
because now I am alive again.
given a second chance.
so thank you,
whoever.
for listening.
and letting me realize,
on my own.
how to survive.
Yesterday.
Yesterday would have been our 4 year.
That means it has been almost 6 months,
since we broke up.
It feels like yesterday,
that we were holding hands.
It feels like yesterday,
that we were drinking champagne.
It fees like yesterday,
that we were crying,
in a room,
holding each other,
while we said our goodbyes.
when will it no longer,
feel like yesterday?
Warning Signs.
Don’t blame yourself.
because you were willing to search,
for the white flag
among a sea of red.
You were taught to see the good in all people.
but some have few flags to find.
First Breath.
here we are.
sitting in a room,
where a week before we were making love.
now both crying,
trying to figure out how it all went wrong.
trying to figure out how to move on.
here we are.
laying together one last time.
holding each other.
you ask, “is this real?”
I say, “i’m not sure how to feel.”
it all felt like a bad dream.
but here is the thing.
two people who are slowing kill each other
does not mean,
the moments that are good,
go unseen.
for falling out of love is by far,
the worse thing.
there was no singe event,
or wrong doing.
that’s just it.
we were slowly drowning.
and one of us realized,
we must come up
for air.
Dear.
my father wrote my mother love letters.
when did we loose the importance of words?
now it’s a “you up?”
instead of,
my dearest love.
She saves them in a drawer.
Which means much more.
no one can compare.
to what my father wrote there.
for he was willing to sit an write.
Which meant she knew
she was on his mind.
They weren’t just letters.
but proof.
that men who love you,
won’t just tell you,
but show you.